Friday, September 25, 2009

Friday Funnies

ORN: 2 easy miles on the treadmill followed by Resistance Training Workout. Feeling residual fatigue from yesterday's tempo run. Worried about the 16-mile progression run in the morning... Still scheduled: 6 mile recovery run after work.

Well, it's Friday, people! You know what that means- it's time to set all seriousness aside. First up, cycling. I just have to post these cycling pictures because they CRACK ME UP!

WHY CYCLING SHORTS ARE BLACK:




The pictures say it all. According to the guy second from the right, it’s about 1 o'clock (if you know what I mean). I can just hear the ad campaign for red bike shorts now: “No need to wear a watch - just look down to your built-in sundial!”

And now, for your reading enjoyment...

A special Top 50 list of traits, habits, and idiosyncrasies that only other runners/ endurance athletes can understand.

YOU KNOW YOU’RE AN ENDURANCE ATHLETE WHEN...

1. When asked, how old you are you answer 40-44.
2. When asked how long your training was today you answer: two to three hours.
3. Your training is more limited by available time then how far you can run.
4. Your first thought when you wake up is how high your resting HR is.
5. You see a 90.3 sticker (a local radio station) and wonder what race that is?
6. You think it's natural to do your 'business' behind a tree in the woods.
7. You do a 5km warm up run and go for a 5km cool-down run after a 5 km race just so that you can call it a training session.
8. You consider work “regeneration time” between training sessions.
9. You sometimes sleep in your running clothes to save time in the morning.
10. You have a water bottle when you drive your car.
11. People praise you for being able to run 15 miles, but you feel insulted.
12. You want to spend your 2 week vacation at a training camp.
13. You know inside out how many grams of carbs and protein each energy bar has.
14. You consider applying for citizenship in Tonga, Jemen or Tschad so that you can participate in the Olympic games.
15. Your average dinner is a whole meat lover's pizza with a six pack of beer, and you only weigh 102 pounds.
16. You can say "fartlek" without getting embarrassed.
17. You not only eat gels, but know the best flavor of every brand.
18. You need a picture for a job application and you only have race pictures.
19. You use running T-shirts to clean your bike.
20. That charming "cologne" you wear to work is chlorine.
21. You take more showers in a locker room than at home.
22. 6:30 am is “sleeping in.”
23. The dog runs and hides when you get the leash.
24. You think there are only two seasons during the year: racing and off.
25. When you have two eggs, two pieces of toast, a slice of cheese, a glass of juice, and a yogurt for breakfast and are hungry again by 11:00 a.m.
26. It hurts worse to take a shower than it does to keep running.
27. You spend more $ on training and racing clothes then work clothes.
28. You spend 7 days going to 8 stores in 4 towns before buying a pair of running shoes but you take 1 afternoon to go to 1 car dealership and walk out with a new car 4 hours later.
29. When you see some lady watering her flowers and ask her if you can borrow the hose for a minute so you can fill up your water bottles.
30. You are the only person in town who knows that quinine is used to treat things other than malaria.
31. You've been stung be a wasp or bee in your mouth but carried on running or cycling because "your split times won’t go down by themselves."
32. Your car smells like a locker room.
33. You have everything needed in your car to be running with 5 minutes notice.
34. When asked to mow the lawn in 90 degree heat, you say that it’s too hot to do that (and you mean it) and then an hour later you go on a 10 mile run because it’s so nice out.
35. You tell your co-workers that you are going to "do a long brick" on Saturday and just expect that they know what you are talking about.
36. When a co-worker asks if you are racing this weekend, you say "yeah, but I'm just running a 10k, so that is not REALLY a race".
37. You are constantly washing running clothes but have to go through piles of clothes on the floor to find something to wear to work each morning.
38. You consider Clif Bars as one of the four food groups.
39. You are sick to your stomach at 2:00 in the morning and check the back of the Pepto Bismol bottle for caloric content and grams of carbohydrates, fat and protein.
40. You have plenty of water bottles, safety pins, and t-shirts.
41. You have trouble keeping lunch under 2000 calories.
42. You usually wake up at 4:00 in the morning but do not get to work until way after 9:00.
43. You like going swimming the day after a race with the permanent penned number still visible on your legs and arms because the feel like a medal.
44. Your car contains at least one energy bar wrapper and two sets of work out clothes!
45. You have a $3000 bike strapped on top of your $1500 car.
46. Your laundry continually smells like someone locked the cat in overnight.
47. Your company announces mandatory unpaid shutdown days - every other Friday throughout the summer - in order to cut costs and stay in business. Your response is "Great - now I can do two long workouts on the weekends and still have an easy day."
48. Your 9 year old comes home with the school record for the mile and says he took it out in a nice pace he could hold... everyone else died.
49. You catch yourself about to blow a snot rocket while walking around the office.
50. You have no EFFEN idea what to do with yourself on your off day.
Which one’s do you like? Which one’s are true for you? (And I bet many are true for non-endurance athletes as well...) Happy Friday!!

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