FRIDAY: 5 Jokes and Movie

What better combo is there than to laugh and be inspired? In that spirit, I bring you 5 jokes and a little peek into the life of one very inspirational coach, Joe Newton.

First, the jokes:

JOKE #1
A dog went to a telegram office, took out a blank form and wrote: "Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof." The clerk examined the paper and politely told the dog, "There are only nine words here. You could send another 'Woof' for the same price." The dog replied, "But that would make no sense at all!"

JOKE #2
What's the worst thing about roller blading?
Having to tell your parents you're gay.

JOKE #3
A man urgently needed a few days off work, but knew the Boss would not allow him to take a leave. He thought perhaps if he acted "CRAZY" then the boss would tell him to take a few days off. So he hung upside down on the ceiling and made funny noises. His co-worker (who's blonde) asked him what he was doing. He said, "I'm pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss will think I'm "CRAZY" and give me a few days off."

A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked, "What are you doing?" The guy told him he was a light bulb. The boss says, "You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple of days." The guys jumps down and walks out of the office. When his co-worker (the blonde) followed him, the Boss asked her, "And where do you think you're going?" She said, "I'm going home too, I can't work in the dark!"

JOKE #4
A guy asks a lawyer what his fee is. "I charge $50 for three questions," the lawyer says. "That’s awfully steep, isn’t it?" the guy asks. "Yes," the lawyer replies, "Now what’s your final question?"

JOKE #5
How do you make a blonde laugh on a Saturday?
Tell her a joke on a Wednesday.

Hope you laughed at at least one of them!

Now, the movie:

I watched The Long Green Line last night, the inspiring story of York Duke’s 2005 Cross Country season as they seek their record 25th state title in 50 years. The York team has 221 athletes participating in Cross Country- although 214 boys know they will have no influence on the season’s scores, they are moved to participate just to be in the presence of Coach Newton.

Coach Newton's goal of molding young boys into men is a life lesson for us all. He sets the example for these high school runners while instilling dedication, integrity and hard work. These life lessons are what will carry these boys through the challenges that we all face. His "tough love" approach obviously has worked for more than 50 years at York High School. I found my self wishing that I had run for him, although I was fortunate to have a great high school cross country coach.

I really liked his "thought for the day" that he provided to those eager, young minds. I recommend this film to all of my running friends.....

In fact, you can watch the entire movie on hulu here.

I hope everyone has a great Easter weekend!

Enjoy the weather, the running, and the racing!

Make sure to wish Georgia Snail good luck in his first ultra tomorrow!

BOOK REVIEW: Once A Runner

A couple of weeks ago, as I was trolling through the ZombieRunner site I noticed they’re carrying John L. Parker's classic book, "Once A Runner". This is a book I've been dying to read, but because it's been out of print, I've had to settle for reading about the book, including its history- which is compelling in itself.

It seems the hardest part for Parker wasn’t writing the book, but publishing it. After multiple rejections, Parker founded his own company and printed off 5,000 copies. He sold the book at road races out of the trunk of his car.

The book eventually found its way into the hands of high school, college, and postgraduate athletes all over the country. Reading it became a rite of passage on many teams, and tattered copies were handed down like sacred texts from generation to generation. It has become one of the most beloved sports novels ever written. Anything supported for 30 years by "word of mouth" has to be special.

Gradually, through word of mouth, demand outweighed supply – and although he eventually printed off 100,000 copies, "Once A Runner" became one of the hardest-to-find books in America. It remained out-of-print and unavailable for less than $75 on-line. According to Bookfinder, the novel was the most-searched for out-of-print fiction or literature book for 2007 and 2008. All of that changed in April, however, when Scribner re-printed the novel.

Delighted to get my hands on a copy, I devoured the book within days. Even as I was turning the pages at break neck speed, I was aware I would be re-reading it from cover to cover the moment I was done.

As someone who ran competitively in high school and college (briefly), this book really nails the experience on the head. Parker knows what he’s writing about because it’s partly autobiographical. He ran at the University of Florida, and later with American Olympians Frank Shorter and Jack Bachelor at Florida Track Club.

The plot centers on Quenton Cassidy, a fictional miler at Southeastern University in Florida. Cassidy is on a quest to run a sub-4 minute mile, but his goal is jeopardized when he is suspended from athletics after butting heads with the University’s administration. However, (fictional) former-running great Bruce Denton takes the athlete under his wing and the duo continue to train and race. Parker describes Quenton’s twice-a-day training, bottomless pit hunger, and social sacrifices in a way that both competitive and recreational runners can relate to. For example, Quenton first shatters the all-important four-minute mile not in a race but during a random training session—"Just another goddamn workout."

This being a sports novel, there is a BIG RACE at the end where EVERYTHING is on the line. But the true climax of the book is captured in one of Quenton's workouts in preparation for the race, an interval session requiring 60 quarter-miles (for those of you who've done quarters workouts, no, that's not a typo). Denton forces Quenton to run the final 20 alone: "I know you can do this thing because I once did it myself," Denton tells him. "When it was over I knew some very important things." And thus it is after the workout, and not the race, that Quenton achieves true self-knowledge.

Critics have charged Parker’s book with being elitist and exclusive. That may be true, but I think runners of all abilities will find they can relate to the book in some small way. Running is essentially a solitary sport – what you do or don’t do is up to you. The only person to congratulate or berate on race day is yourself. Whether you’re training for a sub-4 minute mile or your first 5K, I think that lesson will resonate. This book left me with a desire to train harder and run faster, even if my mile PR is minutes slower than the Cassidy’s.

I have to admit, a part of me wishes the novel had stayed out-of-print. Not everyone is up for the running life, and not everyone should be able to get their hands on this book. It should take effort, whether that means borrowing (or stealing) it from someone or saving up $77.98. Once a Runner's portrait of running may very well smack of elitism, but it is a democratic elitism: Not everyone can be a runner, but a runner can come from anywhere.