Friday, June 11, 2010

5 Jokes Friday: LOST

Dare I continue with the LOST theme? Sure, why not? What's the worst that could happen....?

Here are your 5 jokes:

Joke #1: Why Did The Smoke Monster Cross The Road?
Q: Why did the Smoke Monster cross the road?
A: To get to the other Sayid.

Joke #2: LOST Lightbulb
Q: How many survivors of Flight 815 does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: All of them--If they don't change it together, then bulb is going to die alone!

Joke #3: How to Make a Peanut Butter Sandwich, by the Losties

1. Gather ingredients
2. Point gun at ingredients and shout "HOW DO I MAKE A SANDWICH OUT OF YOU?!?!?"
3. Breathe heavily through your nose as though you were about to hit ingredients
4. Give up and make the sandwich yourself, and eat it bitterly

1. Make separate sandwiches, one with peanut butter and one with jelly
2. Take a bite of the peanut butter sandwich, declaring it the best
3. Take a bite of the jelly sandwich, declaring it the best
4. Repeat steps 2 and 3 ad infinitum
5. Follow peanut butter or jelly sandwich into grave danger

1. Throw the jar of jelly at wall, sneering "I don't need no sandwich".
2. Call the mascot on the jar of peanut butter lots of clever nicknames
3. Huff and puff and stomp around and grumble a lot
4. When no one's looking, make perfect, even, symmetrical peanut butter and jelly sandwich and sit in a corner, enjoying every bite

1. Sit idly by, believing that the ingredients will find a way to make a sandwich out of themselves 2. Lose faith and make the sandwich anyway .
3. Realize that you were the instrument by which the ingredients chose to make a sandwich after all
4. Run around the room and grab everyone's knives, insisting that their sandwiches will do the same in time

1. Make sandwich
2. Eat sandwich
3. Repeat steps 1 and 2 ad infinitum

1. Procure 23 milligrams of uranium-20
2. Set hadron supercollider to eight megajoules
3. Program a sandwich-making macro using Cobol or Visual Basic
4. Act all tough-like

1. Eat sandwich
2. Call the sandwich "brother"
3. Place peanut butter slice over jelly slice
4. Spread jelly on the other slice
5. Spread peanut butter on one slice
6. Take two slices of bread, a jar of peanut butter and a jar of jelly

1. Steal someone else's sandwich
2. Claim you coerced them into making the sandwich for you all along
3. Say you'll tell them everything if they make you another sandwich
4. Stare at them all creepy-like

1. Lay out plans for one of the most intricate, fascinating, and delicious sandwiches of all time
2. Just as you start making it, get shot

1. Apply peanut butter
2. Disappear for eight months
3. Apply jelly
4. Disappear for eight months
5. Eat sandwich

1. Mmmmmmm, peanut butter

1. Make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich
2. Have someone take a bite, then tell them it's a baloney sandwich
3. Make up a whole bunch of other shit, then say you had planned it all along
4. Buy a few yachts

Joke #4: Another LOST Lightbulb
Q: How many survivors of Flight 815 does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: 2. 1 to put in the light bulb and Kate to do the screwing.

Joke #5 : LOST Knock Knoc
Knock Knock
Who's There?
The Oceanic Six
The Oceanic Six who?
That's what we want to know! HA HA HA HA!

Happy Friday, everyone! I'll say right now this has been a slugfest of a week and I am very, very behind on reading everyone's blogs. I am dying to read Chris McPeake's Sulpher Springs 100 race report! I promise to catch up with you all on Sunday.

I am off to the NC/TN border tonight to camp on the AT with some new friends (read: people I have never met) and run from Carver's Gap to 19E and back tomorrow morning. I should be in for some good times and pretty scenery.

Here is how this "fun run" is described:
The start of this marathon is at the top of Carvers Gap (5512 feet) and is run to Hwy 19E all along the AT. You can choose to carry all your food and water or drop some at 19E as we usually do just before the run. Once you reach 19E then you head back uphill for 13.6 miles back to Carvers Gap. Try and negative split that one.

Date: 6.12.10

Start: 7am

Distance: 27.2 miles

Elevation (net): 7,500 feet

Cost: free

Good times: guaranteed


  1. You are a monster...

    I never watched Lost but after reading joke #3, I feel I might have missed out a little....

  2. Life imitating art? My advice for you tomorrow...don't try and stay with Sara or Damian, and follow the signs that say "Psyche, this way-->"... have fun out there and be careful :)

  3. OMG!! You are rockin! I haven't even made it to a full marathon yet! You go!! Can't wait to hear all about it!

  4. You are an athletic beast! I say this with love:) Looking forward to reading your recap!

    I am reading your post late:( Life has been nuts....but I am smiling now:) Take care!