5 Jokes Friday

Flowers Friday!

Look at this beautiful flower arrangement. This is what was waiting for me at my desk this morning. Wow! It's a "thank you" from Kristin Harkey at CMLC. What a great way to start the weekend!

It was such a pleasure working with Kristin to coordinate our participation in the race, that I would actually like to find a way to become more involved with CMLC on a forward going basis. That must be the ultimate compliment, huh? Of course, as a condition of my involvement I would expect flowers on a regular basis...

5 Jokes Friday
And now for your Friday reading pleasure, I've prepared the following 5 Jokes. There's something for everyone today: Lawyer jokes, Blonde jokes, Inappropriate Cattle behavior -it's a virtual perfect storm of politically incorrect jokes. Enjoy!

#1 - Doctor And Lawyer Talk
A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice. After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer, "What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when you're out of the office?"

"I give it to them," replied the lawyer, "and then I send them a bill." The doctor was shocked, but agreed to give it a try. The next day, still feeling slightly guilty, the doctor prepared the bills. When he went to place them in his mailbox, he found a bill from the lawyer.

#2 - Revenge of the Blonde

A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank; she has the title, and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the blonde for using a $250,000 Rolls as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then drives the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, the blonde returns and repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, "Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely; but we are a little puzzled. We checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is - why would you bother to borrow $5,000?" The blond replies....."Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?"

#3 - Gotta Love Those Scots!

At a recent U2 concert in Glasgow, Scotland, Bono – lead singer of the rock band U2 – asked the audience for total quiet. Then, in the silence, he started to slowly clap his hands, once every few seconds. Holding the audience in total silence, he said into the microphone, 'Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies.' A voice with a broad Scottish accent from the front of the crowd pierced the quiet...“'Well, foockin stop doin it then, ya evil foockin bastard!”

#4 -Mujibar Gets A Job

Mujibar was trying to geta job in India . The Personnel Manager said, "Mujibar, you have passed all the tests, except one. Unless you pass it, you cannot qualify for this job." Mujibar said, "I am ready." The manager said, "Make a sentence using the wordsYellow, Pink and Green." Mujibar thought for a few minutes and said, "Mister manager, I am ready." The manager said, "Go ahead." Mujibar said, "The telephone goes green, green, andI pink it up, and say, 'Yellow, this is Mujibar.'"

#5 - Three Blondes
A guy is having a drink in a bar.

A lot of drinks.

A very dark bar.
He leans over to the big woman next to him and says, "Do you wanna hear a funny blonde joke?" The big woman replies, "Well, before you tell that joke, you should know something. Sure, I'm blonde, and six feet tall, 210 lbs. and I'm a professional triathlete and bodybuilder. The blonde woman sitting next to me is 6' 2" and 220 lbs; she's an ex-pro wrestler. Next to her is a blonde who's 6' 5",weighs 250 lbs., and she's a kick boxer professional. Now, do you still want to tell that blonde joke?" The guy blinks, swallows, and thinks about it for a second then says; "No, not if I'm going to have to explain it three times."!

Blackhawk Boys T-Shirt Weiners!

Drum roll, please.

The weiners of the Blackhawk Boys T-Shirts are:

Roisin weins the Medium shirt!!! Oooh Ahhhh Wheeee....

Georgia Snail weins the Large shirt!!! Thunderous applause....

Congratulations, guys! E-mail me your address at pwimberly@drsmgmt.com or, if you are one of the few unfortunate ones my server at work hates, psyche.wimberly@yahoo.com and I will get your shirt out to you pronto. Now go out and have yourselves a great weekend, knowing you're weiners!


Photo Fun

I took this at Barnes and Noble last night. In the kids section. ...Perhaps Leopold is preparing for next week's animal-themed 5 Jokes Friday?*

And finally. 'Cause what's a Friday without a little rude Cattle humor?

Everyone gets stuck once in a while.

Just Remember....














NOT EVERYONE WHO SHOWS UP IS THERE TO HELP.

* Look closely at the animals in this picture.

RACE REPORT: Run For The Hills 5K

The Blackhawk Boys Running Club made a fine showing on Sunday, competing in their Spring Season race, the first inaugural Run For The Hills 5K, held at Fletcher Community Park.

This was an afternoon race, which is becoming more and more common around here. The weather was perfect-breezy, high 70's, and beautiful. I arrived around 1:00 and first-time RD Aimee had everything organized for me. All of our race packets were in one box, and she even went as far as putting all our race numbers in a large envelope. On the front was a list of boys and their corresponding race number. It was awesome. As our boys showed up, we were able to get their race number pinned on them, get them entered in the raffle, and ready run.

Also nice: we were afforded 8 complimentary race entries due to our fundraising. The Blackhawk Boys received 4 free entries, and David Keller (my boss and member of the CMLC Board of Directors) received 4 free entries, which he gave to us. This allowed us to enter several parents who wanted to run with their son.

As we lined up on the grass, the Blackhawk Boys toed the line, forming a sea of white T-Shirts. RD Aimee said, "GO!" and 2 of our little 5-year old mascots, Landon ("Peanut") and Adam, shot out to lead the race across the grassy field and on to the walking trail. They will be forever memorialized in the Asheville Citiziens Times Outdoor Section as leading the race.

I stuck with Leopold, as best I could. He went out strong and steady. After running around the large green field, we headedon to the walking path and hit Mile 1 in about 8:19. We settled in behind Robert- for the duration of the race as it turned out. The next section was an out-and-back, and I got a little confused because I hadn't toured the course beforehand. For some reason, I assumed this next section would be a 1/2 mile out and back, and that we'd finish with another loop around the field.

I knew something was wrong when we were at the turn around and my watch said 16:45. Dang, that was one long 1/2 mile I thought. So, as we came up to the grass field, I was thinking I felt pretty bad considering I had to do that loop again. I was completely impressed with Leopold for holding such a strong pace and not giving up.*

That's when I noticed the people up ahead of looked like they were finishing right there- no additional loop. Just to be sure, I kept watching to see if they were actually stopping. (As opposed to running through the finish line and continuing on).

They were! Yay! Sprint to the finish!!

Like that, it was over.

There was a festival afterwards, and a raffle. Sweet, sweet prizes to be had. Graeson won a $100 Gift Certificate for Foot RX, upon which Leopold complained, "Oh, man. He's just gonna buy 50 bags of Sports Beans and get sick." (Consider that permission, Grae!).

There were so many good memories from this race:

Seeing how the boys really supported one another and showed up as a Team.

The out-and-back portion of the course allowed for awesome hand slapping opportunities).

Seeing Bryson complete his first 5K ever with both his parents- and seeing how proud he was.

Feeling the comeraderie between friends and coaches.

Being surprised - again - at the strength, determination, and competitiveness of our boys.

Meeting Aimee and Kristin in person after e-mailing each other for the last month.

Winning my age group with a 26:00 5K. Awesome.

Photos (from top): 1)Leopold and Drew. 2) Amy, Sam and Jack. 3) Graeson and Drew.

RESULTS:

Overall Female

1 Aileen Mason

2 Erin Herbst

3 Tracy Katsigiannis

Overall Male

1 Duncan Sharrits

2 Max Sass

3 Wyatt Stevens

Female Masters 40+

1 Psyche Wimberly (Coach- Blackhawk Boys)

Male Masters 40+

1 Greg Walker

Female Age Groups:

Under 14

1 Mackinney Supola

15-19

No competitors

20-29

1 Nadine Maltz

30-39

1 Page Mayner

40-49

1 Donna Morgan

Male Age Groups:

1Under 14

Jonathan Laws (Blackhawk Boys Running)

15-19

1 Michael Mouton

20-29

1 Rafe Westbrook

30-39

1 Eric Johnson

40-49

1 Robert Dowling (Coach- Blackhawk Boys Running)


* I was the worst race buddy EVER. I was asking Leopold if he needed to slow down, get a drink, take a restroom break, go fly fishing, etc. That poor kid. We later decided that when we show up to a race, we're there to do our best, no exceptions, no excuses. MOM.

Things That Make You Say, Awwww

Let's just take a moment and reflect on how adorable the Teacup Pig is, shall we?

Awww... *

This week seems to be full of awwww moments and other assorted warm fuzzies. Which is to say, it's been a pretty good week so far.

First, this is the week of my birth and, coincidentally, I am celebrating it by attempting a PR at the Half Marathon. Whether I PR or not, I just love that these two events coincide this year. I also love that I feel prepared to run a decent HM right now. This race is also in Charlotte, covering many of the streets my last marathon was run on, so there's always the hope of wrapping up some unfinished business.

Yesterday, I spoke with someone on the Race Committee at CMLC (Carolina Mountain Land Conservancy). I was pleased to tell them that BOTR had chosen the Run For The Hills 5K as our focus race, which means we would be bringing about $2,000 in registyration fees to CLMC. This is their first annual race/ fund raiser, and they were so overjoyed about the news, it made me feel good all day. Warm Fuzzy? Absolutely.

Today I'm looking forward to the UPS arrival of John L. Parker's follow up to "Once A Runner", Again to Carthage. Also arriving- a new foam roller. I am strangely excited by the arrival of my very own, at home, torture device. I can stop feeling like a perv at the Y when I go to town on their foam roller. OK, now I just feel dirty.

This morning, I read a very inspiration set of posts by Scott Dunlap over at A Trail Runner's Blog. In the first post he captures what I think is true about balance and the second one captures what I feel when I run longer and longer. I love my time on the road for working through life's issues.


Here's to a great day and a great week. I leave you with a birthday quote of sorts:

Use your health, even to the point of wearing it out. That is what it is for. Spend all you have before you die; do not outlive yourself.

- Bernard Shaw

[ORN: Obligatory Running Note] Set out for an easy 7 miler after work yesterday. I'd been at my desk all day, so I was way over-dressed for 45 degree weather. I ended up cutting the run down to 4 miles. It just felt like something I should do. I felt sort of depleted, and so I thought I'd save up some energy for Wednesday's MP intervals. "3 x 2 miles @ MP w/ a steady 1/2 mile in between" sounds super easy on paper, but I'm finding it to be a dang good workout. With a 3 mile warm up and 2 mile cool down, that's 12 miles of goodness.

* This moment was brought to you by last night's episode of HIMYM