Laurel Valley Training Run (feat. Cee Lo Green and Eminem)

The rescheduling of May's FHT attempt and our unfortunate inability to crew for Greta at MMT allowed Charles and I to join 7 other Foothillz Foolz on Saturday for a 35-mile self supported run through Laurel Valley. As smack-downs consolation prizes go, it was not bad.

Humidity was clearly a factor in completing this run, but even so, 7 foolz finished in under 10 hours (read: "I made that trail my bitch, yo!").

Charles and I ran the first half in 4 and a half hours before C-Raff succumbed to the humidity (read: "That trail made me her bitch, yo!").

Cast of Characters:
Dan (who the phuck is Harley?) the Man Hartley
Big Easy
L'il Weezy
Biz-Mark Elson
Doug Robinson
D-Ray
Nick
Charles (The Rapping Pirate)
Psyche

Charles and I had the longest distances to travel so, to avoid a 3:00 a.m. wake up call, we both headed down to the Laurel Valley entrance parking lot on Friday night and set up camp. We really had no idea if actual camping is allowed in the area adjacent to the parking lot. But it's not like we're gonna call the BMF Ranger and ask. As we set up the tent, visions of an encounter with the BMF Ranger filled my head.

In one scenario, said BMF Ranger pulls up in his Ranger wagon, set to kick us off the trail, perhaps even fine us. But I head him of by pulling out my BMF wallet and saying, "Hey, Ranger! The National Park Service called. They said you lost your wallet." (Barney Stinson wink, and...) Ranger takes the wallet, the dead Presidents, and everyone is happy.
Fast forward to 7:00 a.m.

The first squeal of tires is heard several minutes before 7:00 as Big Easy's car careens on to Laurel Valley Road on three wheels. Big Easy, Mark Elson, D-Ray (and Nick?) have arrived, and clearly, they are ready to party.

It's always great to be reunited with old friends, and as the case with D-Ray and Nick, meet some new ones. After the initial gratuitous smack talk, everyone was anxious to get on the trail, but Charles and I weren't quite done breaking down camp. We told them to go on ahead as we needed people to clear the trails of spiders a little more time. So off the spider patrol everyone went, hitting the trail at 7:15. We were able to finish up quickly, and got on the trail at 7:30.

And So It Begins

I've lost count of how many times I've run the Laurel Valley section of the Foothills Trail. But every every time I do, I hate starting out by climbing stairs! They are just awful and the first several miles is full of stairs and climbs. What's strange is that in running the entire Foothills Trail, I never remember this section as being particularly difficult. Oh yeah. That's because you ascend to the highest point in the entire state of South Carolina within 4 miles when you start at Table Rock State Park. By the time you get to Laurel Valley, you're 14 miles in and feeling stoked to have such easy running.

Easy Running

The initial 2-3 miles were slow going indeed, but when the terrain flattened out a bit we started to run at a good pace. We were both feeling good, and I kept thinking that as fast as we were moving, we'd should catch the group, eventually. The trail was just flying by and and it was awesome to be feeling good and running easily- even though I was sweating more than I usually do. I was completely drenched within the first mile. Don't even ask about Charles.

Through this 7-9 mile section, I decided to turn on some tunes, sit back (figuratively speaking, of course) and enjoy the ride.

Musical Interlude
Several miles later, I was so happy to be having a good run I was practically beside myself. Then, my good-run feeling of giddiness rose to near fever pitch as Cee Lo Green's song, "F**k You!" came on.

Can I just say? I love me some Cee Lo Green.

This man seriously knows that music comes from the heart and soul. He has a fantastic sense of humor and doesn't take himself seriously. I don't care who you are, these are great qualities.

Plus, a big black rapper in a zebra suit is so wrong it's actually right, and for that reason alone he fits right in with this motely crew.

I'm sure he'd be perfectly at home partnering up with the MFRP to write a song about Sam's zebra's (in which they would hopefully answer the eternal question once and for all: why don't humans ride zebras?)

I swear, I was in free association heaven... Before the next mile was run, I had Charles and Cee Lo collaborating on Fitty K's Ultra Rap, featuring....wait...wait for it...

Eminem!

BAM! That just happened.

I know.

They can thank me later.

Ultra Rap

by fitty-k

Word up dog, move along the trail
Keep rollin, smokin along
You ain’t about to fail
Gotja gels, hammer style
In a pouch then, I’m not slouchin
You gonna be runnin for ya life then
Not afraid of dyin
Just never stop tryin
It ain’t about the finish, not winnin
Busta rhyme and your head starts spinnin
A trail mile is a whale mile
More and more of them, that’s my style
Knick knack paddy whackin
Staying on the trail, ya’ll
Less you do some bushwhackin
Give it your best shot, give it your all
Livin the ultra life (not beer), word
It ain’t like nuthin you ever heard
We’re all together, disregard the weather
Postman goes in snow and sleet
But that sucka stays on the street
Not us though, we’re on a roll
Living life like we’re outta control
This trail running life is good for the soul

by Charles Raffensperger


Laurel Valley Giveth and She Taketh Away

Today's lesson sponsored by Laurel Valley: All good things must come to end. The humidity was finally having its way with Charles (and not in a good way). The good news is that he may have actually turned the corner in learning the lesson this trail is so desperately trying to teach him: With his sensitivity to heat and humidity, he simply cannot undertake beastly ultra runs unless the weather conditions are right.

As we reached the half way point, C-Raff began to suffer more and more, and I was right there with him. We eventually slowed waaay down and switched gears. The rest of the day would be about enjoying the day and being happy to be out playing in the forest. Together. (Personally, I love how ultra running has the coolest built-in back up plan).


Yep. Still Directionally Challenged

I find it extremely difficult to remember all the points on this trail, no matter how many times I run it. I find I'll remember the section as I'm running it, but there's always a point where I think a certain landmark is coming up, only to discover that I am totally wrong. Saturday, this played out in epic fashion:

Me: "Hey Charles. Right up here the trail is going to make a right turn and there'll be a sign for Bad Creek Parking lot, right?"
Charles: "...No."

Me: "Isn't the little foot bridge that goes along the rock wall that has water running down it coming up?"
Charles: "..No."

The last 6-8 miles always seem to be the hardest for me to run remember, as I keep thinking the distance is over a hundred (possibly over a thousand) miles and may very well include a circumnavigation of the globe I'm going to come out to an area I will recognize, (but never do).
Eventually, though, I began to get it right. I'd name an upcoming landmark..and it would be correct! Yaaay!

My take away- The more tired I become, the better my sense of direction gets.

The Laurel Valley Payoff of Excellence

Upper Whitewater Falls

After a day of following the white blazes through the thick forest canopy, taking in the incredible sights of the whitewater rivers, waterfalls, dramatic drop offs, swinging bridges, wildlife, and all around incredible scenery, you finally reach the finish.

A ridiculous climb brings you to a cool, big-ass view of Whitewater Falls.
Hells, YEAH!

Foothills Trail Attempt 2010

Wherein 6 brave souls face great physical, mental, and emotional challenges in an attempt to complete the Foothills Trail but are foiled by extreme heat, humidity, and fatigue*.

From left: Dan Hartley, Chad Henderson, Jim Cobb, Charles Raffesnperger, myself and Jason Sullivan

Months in the making, this epic adventure run was set for Saturday morning at 4:00 a.m. So all the logistics went down on Friday, and it got complicated.

Long story short, we all met on Friday afternoon at Oconee State Park, the end point of the run, to set up our campsites so they would be waiting as we finished. After setting up at Oconee, we then headed to Table Rock State Park, to set up camp, spend the night, and be ready for a 4:00 a.m. start.

Between setting up 2 camps and driving to the Laurel Valley entrance, Burrell's Ford, and Cheeohee Road to leave food, water and supplies, my head was spinning. I couldn't remember what (if anything!) I had at each point.

The comic relief of setting up the "elephant tent" was a much needed distraction. Seriously, what is wrong with this tent? (In less than 100 words).

Also under the heading "comic relief" would be the ever-goofy Jason and Sam. We all had a blast driving out to the Laurel Valley parking lot, Sam sharing her fine taste in music with us while Charles and I tried to catch glimpses of the beautiful orange moon while Jason snapped pictures as if his camera were going to die before he could reach his goal of taking 100 pictures or something.**

Jason practicing mug shot face (in case BMF Park Ranger wins Round 2).

???????

It goes without saying that 4:00 a.m. arrived too soon. We gathered and nervously began our walk to the Foothills Trail head. Unspoken, but in the back of all of our minds, was the fear the Park Ranger would show up and ruin any chance we had at this run. As we walked quietly through the darkness on the road which leads to the trail head, we suddenly saw a car slowly approach us. It slowed, then pulled over, and my heart dropped into my stomach. I was sure we were done.

Luckily, it turned out to be Scott Hodukavich. He was there to introduce himself and let us know he would be providing us support and aid (and HOW!). Scott drove on down to the trail head and snapped a group photo of us at the start. He also said I had just missed Denise Martin, who drove down for the "start". I was really disappointed I didn't get to connect with Denise after all she did to make the trip.

In fact, before I go on, I have to say that a defining characteristic of this run has been the generosity and selflessness of people like Denise, Scott, Ken, Walter, Terri, and the many others that joined us, through their choice or not, as things unfolded.

As you'll soon see, this is pretty much just what Charles, Jason (for a part of it) and I experienced, as we all experienced very different things over the course of this adventure... I'm still finding out about everyone else's individual and group adventures...amazing.

I had our start time as 4:23 a.m.

Table Rock to Laurel Valley Entrance

The first section of the trail starts at Table Rock State Park and takes you to the Laurel Valley parking area on Hwy 178. Jason, Charles, and I all ran this section together.

We all agreed that the first five hours of the run seemed to fly by. Charles, Jason, and I were having some great laughs as we hit the top of Pinnacle Mountain at about 6:00 a.m. We took a brief sit down break to enjoy the start of an incredible day.

Soon, we were off to climb Sassafras Mountain (South Carolina's highest point), and before we knew it, we were descending to HWY 178 where we found Scott waiting for us with an aid station to beat all aid stations. Can you say frozen towels and watermelon? Thank you Scott! These smiles are the real deal.

I wish I knew what we were laughing at!

Jason's fondness for Nicot cookies knows no bounds.

Laurel Valley to White Water Falls
Laurel Valley has 34 miles of the most beautiful section of the Foothills Trail. It is somehow beautiful, simple and mysterious all at the same time. Adding to its allure (and danger): there is no bail out point through here. Once in, you have to get to the end at White Water Falls or turn around and head back to the parking lot. Or do what I did. But seriously...don't.

Unfortunately, as the 3 of us began climbing the first of the many, many stairs that define Laurel Valley, the temperatures climbed and the humidity rose.

Temperatures in the 90's plus high humidity meant the triple digit heat index was in the critical zone. At best, we were all going to fade. A lot. The reason is simple: if your body is unable to control its core temperature, it uses fatigue as a defense mechanism. Fatigue forces you to stop what you are doing immediately, thus (hopefully) lowering your core temperature.

As I did from the start, I continued to drink 20 ounces of Accelerade every hour and tried to take 2 S! Caps every 2 hours.

Luckily, I seemed to be able to catch the occasional brief break from the heat now and again from a slight breeze or a quick dip in a rushing stream or river. Charles did not seem as lucky. He was losing sweat at an alarming rate. In fact, it seemed to me that I could actually see him losing weight. That got my attention and I was hoping against hope he wouldn't succumb to the fatigue and cramping I'd seen him go through on earlier runs through this section.

We slowed down and took every opportunity to cool off, but it was not enough. Before Charles would make it out of there, the heat would have him totally beat, toasted, roasted, fried, baked, rocked, trashed, whipped out, and spanked.

As Charles' condition continued to decline, I looked at the map to see how close we were to Cane Brake. I was not actually concerned with his safety at this point, but Iwas trying to think ahead. I suggested that I go on ahead to find Ken and bring him back. We decided against this idea. Then, Ken suddenly appears as if out of thin air. Apparently, he had noticed that too much time had passed without seeing us come through, so he started hiking in to us***.

The timing could not have been better. Within a few minutes, Charles got worse. He began throwing up and he seemed a bit disoriented. It seemed to me he was getting worse fast. Ken's manner had taken on that way professionals have when they are handling a crisis situation. He was cool, but definitely in charge. I think that scared me the most.

The three of us made it to Toxaway Bridge and Ken was able to get a text out to Walter, to ask him to come up to Gorges National Park to get Charles and take him back to Oconee.

At the bridge, Ken and Charles would make a right and head to Gorges National Park. I would make a left and head to Whitewater Falls. I felt exremely good, and assured that Charles didn't need additional help to get out. I made the decision to go, on my own, at least to Whitewater Falls. (Afterward, I heard it was a difficult 5-mile trek to get Charles out, and Ken called in Scott Hodukavich to assist).

I knew it wasn't good common sense but then , according to Oscar Wilde, "common sense kills people everyday, one lost opportunity at a time", right? I could tell Charles wanted to say something but didn't quite trust his own ability to think straight in that moment. So, full of "go big or go home" attitude, I set off at 5: 50 p.m. to complete the 19 miles to White Water Falls.

I felt strong, I was not dehydrated, was running most of the way, and calculating what time I should be at the Falls. I kept coming up with different answers, but I thought it should take me about 6 hours if I made 3 miles an hour. (I know that sounds slow, but my god this section is hard). That put things at midnight. I'll admit, I was hoping Ken called ahead and told them when to expect me. If I was still standing at White Water Falls, I wanted to try for the next section.

What I definitely underestimated was the mental toll fatigue was taking on me. It was subtle at first, then more and more pronounced. I missed a double white now and then, but always turned back within a short time and got back on course.

But then, even on trail, I was thinking that parts of the trail looked wrong. I would have thoughts like, "I thought this part was way back there at the start of the section?" and I would have a little panic attack about it. I was also obsessing on the bridge you get to right before climbing up to the Falls- the one you have to scale the big rocks to get to... I kept trying to figure out where that bridge was, yet at the same time I knew exactly where it was. I felt like I was losing it a little bit.

When I came up to the Hilliard Falls sign, I definitely thought that the last time I had been there we had approached the sign from a different angle. But i couldn't be sure. That really bothered me, because I knew I needed to go left of the sign to be on trail. But that wouldn't be true if I somehow had come up to the sign from the wrong direction. It was becoming very hard to think things through and I was feeling panicky.

At this point I just became more and more disoriented. There's a double white here, so it's tricky already. I knew I was looking for the trail to start climbing. But no matter which direction I took, it didn't climb, and didn't seem to be right. I kept back-tracking and somehow going over the same bridges and sections over and over again.

I finally felt so exhausted I knew I had to rest for at least an hour. I lay down in the middle of the trail and dozed/ rested from 3:00- 4:30. I stared at the beautiful orange moon as it sunk lower and lower in the sky.

I had some pretty deep inner conversations with myself in those 90 minutes. Not the usual chit chat, either. More of a communion with the still part of myself, the part that always knows what to do, what is right, what is truth. If nothing else, I am grateful for being in that extreme situation as it forced me to lose all but my essential self, if only for a short time. In doing so, I was able to gain a certain clarity about my life. If the price for that experience was a 30 hour trail run, I think I got off cheap.

At 4:30 a.m., I tried to get up but could barely move I was so sore and my feet hurt so bad. I was crying and swearing it hurt so bad just to shuffle down the road. But eventually it got a little better, and eventually I did find the correct trail from Hilliard Falls. It was so close- I just hadn't gone far enough down one of the trailheads. Unfortunately, I faced several mammoth climbs on feet that were swollen, blistered, and tender.

I got near White Water Falls at about 9:30 but even then, I was not 100% I was on trail. I was still disoriented and now I was getting desperate. I was seeing things (houses, people, forestry service trucks parked down the trail) and I was afraid I'd get some crazy idea in my head and do something really dangerous. At one point, I was convinced I should bush whack up the ridge because Hwy. 107 was right there. So, when I saw the sign, "Bad Creek Parking Lot 1.5 Mi.", I cut down that trail and within moments found two hikers who helped me by calling the sheriff.

The rest, they say, is history. There was a search party waiting for me. Everyone was so relieved I had been found (including me). I was so tired, I just wanted to sleep. So, that's what I did.

I later learned that several people went back into White Water Falls looking for me, including Scott Hodukavich****.

* And possibly Wood Nymphs.

** Official time of death: 6:10 a.m., July 24.

*** Ken Sturm is a rock star. I hope you never need saving, but if you do, I hope you know Ken.
**** Scott Hodukavich is also a rock star, and I will be forever paying him back by coming out and supporting him in adventures.

Note: Thanks to Scott Hodukavich and Jason Sullivan for all the great pics!