FRIDAY: 5 Jokes and Movie

What better combo is there than to laugh and be inspired? In that spirit, I bring you 5 jokes and a little peek into the life of one very inspirational coach, Joe Newton.

First, the jokes:

JOKE #1
A dog went to a telegram office, took out a blank form and wrote: "Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof." The clerk examined the paper and politely told the dog, "There are only nine words here. You could send another 'Woof' for the same price." The dog replied, "But that would make no sense at all!"

JOKE #2
What's the worst thing about roller blading?
Having to tell your parents you're gay.

JOKE #3
A man urgently needed a few days off work, but knew the Boss would not allow him to take a leave. He thought perhaps if he acted "CRAZY" then the boss would tell him to take a few days off. So he hung upside down on the ceiling and made funny noises. His co-worker (who's blonde) asked him what he was doing. He said, "I'm pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss will think I'm "CRAZY" and give me a few days off."

A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked, "What are you doing?" The guy told him he was a light bulb. The boss says, "You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple of days." The guys jumps down and walks out of the office. When his co-worker (the blonde) followed him, the Boss asked her, "And where do you think you're going?" She said, "I'm going home too, I can't work in the dark!"

JOKE #4
A guy asks a lawyer what his fee is. "I charge $50 for three questions," the lawyer says. "That’s awfully steep, isn’t it?" the guy asks. "Yes," the lawyer replies, "Now what’s your final question?"

JOKE #5
How do you make a blonde laugh on a Saturday?
Tell her a joke on a Wednesday.

Hope you laughed at at least one of them!

Now, the movie:

I watched The Long Green Line last night, the inspiring story of York Duke’s 2005 Cross Country season as they seek their record 25th state title in 50 years. The York team has 221 athletes participating in Cross Country- although 214 boys know they will have no influence on the season’s scores, they are moved to participate just to be in the presence of Coach Newton.

Coach Newton's goal of molding young boys into men is a life lesson for us all. He sets the example for these high school runners while instilling dedication, integrity and hard work. These life lessons are what will carry these boys through the challenges that we all face. His "tough love" approach obviously has worked for more than 50 years at York High School. I found my self wishing that I had run for him, although I was fortunate to have a great high school cross country coach.

I really liked his "thought for the day" that he provided to those eager, young minds. I recommend this film to all of my running friends.....

In fact, you can watch the entire movie on hulu here.

I hope everyone has a great Easter weekend!

Enjoy the weather, the running, and the racing!

Make sure to wish Georgia Snail good luck in his first ultra tomorrow!

5 Jokes and a Story

To pass the time on the drive home from my Half Marathon earlier this month, Leopold read 100 jokes aloud to me. Really. One Hun-dred. These are the top 5 funniest:

JOKE #1
A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!"The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!"The manager opens his dictionary and sees the following definition for panda: "A bear of Asian origin, characterised by distinct black and white colouring. Eats shoots and leaves."

JOKE #2
Two Irishmen walk in to a bar.
You'd think one of them would've seen it.

JOKE #3
How many kids with ADHD does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Hey! Wanna ride bikes?

JOKE #4
Two sausages are laying next to each other in a pan. The one says to the other, "Hey, it's getting kind of hot in here, isn't it?" The other one looks over and screams, "Aaaaugh! A talking sausage!!"

JOKE #5
A polar bear walks into a bar, sits down, and says, "Bartender, I'll have a rum and.....................
..............................................................................................................................................coke."
The bartender says, "What's with the big pause?" The polar bear replies, "Oh, I dunno. I've always had 'em."

You're just lucky I didn't remember only the 95 bad jokes!

Now a story....

THE STORY OF THE MT. CAMAROON RACE

This text is straight from the website: volcanicsprint.com.

The sleepy town of Buea in the Southwest Province of Cameroon hosts Africa’s most grueling footrace: the Mt. Cameroon Race of Hope, a marathon-length sprint 10,000 feet up a live volcano, and back down again.

To conquer the mountain, racers must overcome some of the cruelest conditions in sport: temperatures fluctuate 50 degrees, altitude sickness claims the weak, and loose volcanic stones can cause serious injury, and even death, as runners fly back down the mountain.



Volcanic Sprint takes you deep inside the lives of athletes like Sarah Etonge, a five-time champion and mother of seven known as the Queen of the Mountain. Just days before the race, Sarah is haunted by a nagging knee injury and the strain of a hospitalized child. Sarah needs the money she earns from racing to support her children and the Race of Hope is the biggest purse in Cameroon.

For these competitors, Mt. Cameroon isn’t just a race. It’s their best shot at achieving fame and fortune in a country short on both. For former champion John Ekema, it’s a chance to relive fading glory through his son. For two-time champion Dominique Tedjiozem, attacked by rivals during the 2002 race, it’s a chance for vengeance.

All the competitors’ hopes and aspirations come together on the biggest sporting day in Cameroon. The winners will achieve lifelong fame. But nearly half of all runners will quit the race … conquered by Mt. Cameroon.