Friday, March 26, 2010

5 Jokes and a Story

To pass the time on the drive home from my Half Marathon earlier this month, Leopold read 100 jokes aloud to me. Really. One Hun-dred. These are the top 5 funniest:

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!"The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!"The manager opens his dictionary and sees the following definition for panda: "A bear of Asian origin, characterised by distinct black and white colouring. Eats shoots and leaves."

Two Irishmen walk in to a bar.
You'd think one of them would've seen it.

How many kids with ADHD does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Hey! Wanna ride bikes?

Two sausages are laying next to each other in a pan. The one says to the other, "Hey, it's getting kind of hot in here, isn't it?" The other one looks over and screams, "Aaaaugh! A talking sausage!!"

A polar bear walks into a bar, sits down, and says, "Bartender, I'll have a rum and.....................
The bartender says, "What's with the big pause?" The polar bear replies, "Oh, I dunno. I've always had 'em."

You're just lucky I didn't remember only the 95 bad jokes!

Now a story....


This text is straight from the website:

The sleepy town of Buea in the Southwest Province of Cameroon hosts Africa’s most grueling footrace: the Mt. Cameroon Race of Hope, a marathon-length sprint 10,000 feet up a live volcano, and back down again.

To conquer the mountain, racers must overcome some of the cruelest conditions in sport: temperatures fluctuate 50 degrees, altitude sickness claims the weak, and loose volcanic stones can cause serious injury, and even death, as runners fly back down the mountain.

Volcanic Sprint takes you deep inside the lives of athletes like Sarah Etonge, a five-time champion and mother of seven known as the Queen of the Mountain. Just days before the race, Sarah is haunted by a nagging knee injury and the strain of a hospitalized child. Sarah needs the money she earns from racing to support her children and the Race of Hope is the biggest purse in Cameroon.

For these competitors, Mt. Cameroon isn’t just a race. It’s their best shot at achieving fame and fortune in a country short on both. For former champion John Ekema, it’s a chance to relive fading glory through his son. For two-time champion Dominique Tedjiozem, attacked by rivals during the 2002 race, it’s a chance for vengeance.

All the competitors’ hopes and aspirations come together on the biggest sporting day in Cameroon. The winners will achieve lifelong fame. But nearly half of all runners will quit the race … conquered by Mt. Cameroon.


  1. Fun jokes, they were good.

    Good story, and thanks for the site. I will read more.

  2. I think I like #5 the's all in the delivery....

  3. Pretty funny! Jokes are perfect for a Friday post!! TGIF!!! I am so looking forward to a few days off:) Have a great weekend:)

  4. I received a package in the mail today!!! To my surprise it was the GU's!!!THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!! These will work perfectly for the ultra next Saturday!!!

  5. I submit that you do five jokes every Friday!

  6. Good idea, Jamoosh! I just might do that...:)

  7. If someone pays my way, I'll do the volcano run!

    I've recently been thinking of jokes I heard in junior high - like Leopold's, only dirty.

    Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle?

  8. Because his wife died!

    (sorry. that's junior high for you)

  9. lol @ the "hey wanna ride bikes!"