Friday, May 28, 2010

5 Jokes Friday

On June 13th I'm leading a Scout Hike to Rattlesnake Lodge. Here is a good description of the hike:
This is one of those hikes that holds natural and man-made wonders, making it a special hike for both dogs and their people. The trail is named for the actual Rattlesnake Lodge, which sat tucked away in this hidden mountaintop retreat for about twenty years in the early 1900s. The stone remains of the lodge await at the end of the trail, a treat for history buffs and anyone with a sense of curiosity.

So, off I set to canvass the 1.5 out-and-back trail to see what we were in for. Here's what I found, in pictures, on the way up and back. What really amazes me, is that this trail is 4.7 miles from my garage. It's amazing to me that I live in such a beautiful place.

There's never an easy segueway into "5 Jokes Friday", so...

Here are yer jokes:

1. Smith Loses $500
Six guys were playing poker when Smith loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest and drops dead at the table. Showing respect fortheir fallen comrade, the other five complete their playing timestanding up. Roberts looks around and asks, "Now, who is going to tell the wife?" They draw straws. Rippington, who is always a loser, picks the short one. They tell him to be discreet, be gentle, don't make a bad situation any worse than it is. "Gentlemen! Discreet? I'm the most discreet man you will ever meet. Discretion is my middle name, leave it to me." Rippington walks over to the Smith house and knocks on the door. The wife answers and asks what he wants. Rippington says, "Your husband just lost $500 playing cards." She hollers, "TELL HIM TO DROP DEAD!" Rippington says, "I'll tell him."

2. An Old Man Was Critically Ill
An old man was critically ill. Feeling that death was near, he called his lawyer. "I want to become a lawyer. How much is it or the express degree you told me about?" "It's $50,000," the lawyer said. "But why? You'll be dead soon, why do you want to become a lawyer?" "That's my business! Get me the course!" Four days later, the old man got his law degree. His lawyer was at his bedside, making sure his bill would be paid. Suddenly the old man was racked with fits of coughing and it was clear that this would be the end. Still curious, the lawyer leaned over and said, "please, before it's too late, tell me why you wanted to to get a law degree so badly before
you died?" In a faint whisper, as he breathed his last, the old man said, "One less lawyer . . ."

3. A Guy Trying To Console A Friend
A guy was trying to console a friend who'd just found his wifein bed with another man."Get over it, buddy," he said. "It's not the end of the world." "It's all right for you to say," answered his buddy. "But whatif you came home one night and caught another man in bed withyour wife?" The fella ponders for a moment, then says, "I'd break his caneand kick his seeing-eye dog in the ass."

4. Another Blonde Joke
Why does a blonde girl always have a bruise around her belly button???
Cause blonde boys aren't that smart either.

5. Another Lawyer Joke
Why don't lawyers play hide-and-seek?
Nobody will look for them.
I wish everyone a wonderful long weekend! I, for one, am planning a long trail run tomorrow out at "Big Ivy". I'm sure to get lost on this one, so I expect this to be an adventure! Whee Ha!


  1. Great pics!!! Have a good run - hope you don't get lost :)

  2. You are right, the Rattle Snake Lodge area trails are amazing! Gorgeous pictures:)

    Woo hoo for Friday Jokes from your blog!

    I hope that you have a flipping great weekend!

  3. Fun jokes, thanks! :)

    You and I live in complete different climates, oh how I would love to visit for a few days and enjoy the "green".

    Happy Weekend!

  4. Cool pics, Scout mom! Did you see any rattlesnakes? If I did, I would scream like a little girl. I have to agree with Triple F, I love me some 5 Joke Fridays! I thought that I had heard all the lawyer jokes before, but clearly I haven't. I loved #2.