Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Reflections On Race Anxiety

In this month's Running Times there an article by Pete Magill titled, "Jettison Your Pre-Race Jitters". (You can find a very similar article on his blog).

I like Pete Magill. He has plenty of credentials (he's the top ranked 5K runner in the world for his age and he led his running clubs - Team Runners High and Fluffy Bunny - to 10 National Masters Team Championships), but more importantly he is a virtual fount of wisdom, and is always ready to share his many insights.*

In this article, Pete talks about how race jitters can undermine your performance and how they're especially destructive because we don't always recognize them, even when we're shaking in our shoes. He lists 10 signs of race jitters and then goes on to provide some pretty decent advice for coping with them. Here are his 10 Signs:

SIGNS THAT YOU MIGHT HAVE RACE JITTERS...

1. Spontaneous Injury Generation - As race day approaches, you're suddenly overwhelmed with aches and pains.

2. Second Guessing Syndrome - It's the week of your race, and the realization hits: Everuything I've done to prepare for this race is wrong!

3. Leaving Your Race In Your Workout - The race is almost upon us, and we doubt our fitness. The answer seems clear: Run a time trial or all-out interval session to test our conditioning.

4. Training Through A Race - Anxious runners try to lessen their anxiety by treating a race like just another workout.

5. Waiting Until Peak Condition - Some of us postpone racing until we can reach that promised land known as "peak condition".

6. Better Racing Through Food - Since the advent of carbo loading, runners have sought better racing through diet. We fall victim to trying new diets or over carbo-loading. It's a race, not a meal.

7. Routine Changes - Panick-stricken runners sometimes change their routine in advance of races. They skip work. Dodge ordinary chores. Sleep more. Avoid stairs. Do extra stretching.

8. Warming Up To Failure - You're jogging the first mile of your warm up, and suddenly you see a spot dead wringer for Haile Gebrselassie doing a mini-interval session for his warm up. On the spot, you decide to copy what he's doing.

9. The Fast Start - I know, I know. It's so tempting to go out hard the first 400 meters of a race. But nothing can be more destructive to your race than an overexuberant start.

10. Overthinking The Race - Runners can become so blinded by pace calculations, weather reports, course concerns, shoe decisions, Gu purchases, and competitors that they fail to see that a race is not unique among runs.

So instead of giving you Pete's dead-on advice for coping with these demons, why don't you leave a comment with your advice for one or two of these? Better yet, tell us your personal story of disaster and how you overcame the anxiety demons to achieve sweet victory!



* Truth be told, I would like him simply for naming his running club Fluffy Bunny.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Party Like A Rock Star

It's 8:30 a.m. on Saturday. My son is in school and I'm at work. What's wrong with this picture? Ding, dind, ding! You are correct if you said,

"Everything!"

Snowpocalypse is not the new black. It's the new herpes. Even though we have gorgeous weather today, Snowpocalypse can still mess with me! (See the whole herpes metaphor working there?)

"Saturday School."

Really?

After I pick up Leopold from fake school, I get to go running with him. 7 miles, with 3 minutes of running mixed with 1 minute of walking. It is so much fun to run with him. I'm not sure why that is. Except he's 9. It's a fun age. Speaking of Leopold, we had some fun over at Adam's blog last night, leaving comments, pictures of us jumping through flaming hoops to win his running crap, fake social security numbers, wild stories of the African safari... I mean, did any of you all send pictures of yourself on fire to him? I think not (we so have this won!).

Also speaking of Leopold, I have to say I'm kinda jealous of how Nitmos lovingly calls his kids "the filly" and "the colt" (aaaaaaw!).

Since it's too late now to give Leopold some adorable moniker, here's what I've decided to do: I call him whatever comes into my mind at the moment, no matter how outrageous, inappropriate, or cruel. This really doesn't do anything to alleviate my jealousness over Nitmos' endearing choices, but it's been a lot of fun so far. In the span of a few hours my poor son has had to answer to, "Pancake", "Watermelon", "Jelly Bean" (do we have a food theme going here or what?) "Castro" (wtf?) "Douche Bag" (that's just not right), "Oprah" and "BeetleJuice".

So, while I'm waiting for Child Protective Services to arrive... I'll think up a running game we could play to make the time go by faster. I've got it: "Rock-Star With a Running Habit". Rules? You have to give a rock-star response to every little hassle. Nothing to drink? Call the limo driver to drive slightly ahead of you with perfectly-chilled water, Gatorade, or other important nourishment. Cars not giving you enough room to run along the side of the road? Smash their rear windshield with your electric guitar while swearing loudly for the paparazzi.

Oh, this is going to be so fun...

Friday, February 19, 2010

Sunshine Award. Word!

Earlier this week I received the Sunshine Award from Julie . Thank you, Julie! I appreciate that little bit of bloggie love. Now, I’m supposed to pass along this award to a few more people. I know this award has been making its way around the bloggie world, so if you have already received it, no need to pass it along.

I would like to thank the Academy, I mean tag Jamoosh, Roisin, PunkRockTriGuy, Vanilla, Viper, sRod and Nitmos for always making me laugh!! You guys are crazy and I'm always entertained by you!!

I would like to tag The Sean and The Laminator for being the huge sources of inspiration that they are.

I would like to tag those people whose blogs I have just begun reading and enjoying (very much!): Thomas, Tricia, Adam, Brittany, Leopold and Jill.

Finally, a shout out to SteveQ, Simon, Mark, Matthew, and Julie. All great blogs, all great people. All from Minnesota. Seriously, it's freaky how many good runners come from Minnesota. You'd think Dick Beardsley hailed from there or something.


Tag. You're It!

SteveQ recently tagged everyone and asked them to list five words that you like, but have never used. Then try to incorporate them into blog posts.

Here goes:

1) Defenestrate. To throw something or someone out of a window. I used this word in my post on Wednesday, when I said the treadmill and my nervous system don't get along. And I quote: "Being forced into an unnatural, unchanging pace makes me want to commit acts of defenestration on the 'mill".

2) Embrangle. To perplex someone. Sounds like it belongs in a Western, doesn't it?

3) Risible (riz'-uh-bull). Causing or capable of causing laughter.

4) Haptic (hap'-tick). Relating to, or based on the sense of touch.

5) Sesquipedalian (sess'-kwi-ped-ay'-lee-un). Given to or characterized by the use of long words.

Consider yourself tagged.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Attention! Race Directors!

I sent this off to the race director of the "Earth Day Challenge Marathon & Half Marathon" in Gambier, OH today.

Dear Mr. Heithaus,

My family and friends are really excited to be making the trip to Ohio in April to run in your race. We’re bringing a group of runners, including 2 young runners, age 9 and 10, who will be competing in the Half Marathon. I say competing, not running or hoping to finish, because these two young fellows find their greatest joy in competing. For them, there is nothing more satisfying than collecting some well-deserved hardware (a medal or trophy) at the end of a gutsy race.

That is why we’re disappointed to see that your race features only a “19 and under” youth age division. To better motivate young runners, we appeal to you to consider adding multiple youth age divisions. Imagine being an outstanding nine-year-old runner, able to beat the majority of the pack at road races, yet competing for awards against teenagers and young adults twice as old and twice as tall. Where's the logic and motivation in that?

Pre-adolescent bodies and physical abilities differ greatly within a narrow range of ages. With the onset of puberty, all sorts of physical disparities occur during the development of young hearts, lungs, muscles, and bones. Most of that biological barrage takes place between the ages of 10 and 14. Incredible differences in height and muscle development are usually obvious as kids gather at the starting line, and age has much to do with those differences. Doesn't it make sense to demonstrate our understanding of these facts by providing more equitable age divisions for youth?

We would ask you to consider adding more youth age divisions for this race (e.g., 9-10, 11-12, 13-14, 15 and up). I know as race organizers, you are good folks who love runners and running, but may not have considered this issue. What we're talking about here are easy changes to make a good thing better. Money (the cost of additional awards) is sometimes claimed as the rationale for limiting the number of youth age divisions. That argument simply isn't good enough. Where there's a will to reward and motivate young runners, there's a way, and some race directors are making it happen already. Who doesn't enjoy winning an award and applauding those who do? A token ribbon for all runners is wonderful, but some small speedsters take their running very seriously. They deserve something special for getting in shape, running hard, and finishing in front. It's hard to imagine a positive message being conveyed to them as they watch adult top finishers being the only ones recognized at award ceremonies.

As kids get older, there will be many sports and other activities from which to choose. We should begin rewarding kids now in order to encourage them (especially the best of them) to stick with running later. If motivated properly, outstanding young road racers may go on to represent their schools and community’s proudly in cross-country and track. Once that happens, they are more likely to return to the road race scene.

Distance champion Steve Prefontaine once said, "To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift". Talented young runners will continue striving for their best only if they receive our very best support.

Thank you in advance for your consideration.

Psyche Wimberly
Leopold Wimberly (age 9)

Nancy Crawford
Ray Crawford
Ty Crawford (age 10)

Disco Run On A Cold and Stormy Night

Twas the night before Thursday when all down the road
Not a runner was running, not in this zip code
No, their shoes were tucked safely in their closets with care
In hopes that St. Spring would soon be there.

But off ran Psyche, her sights set straight ahead
Visions of Beardsley and Salazar dancing in her head...

Mad poetry skilz aside. My Tempo run was awesome last night! Which is something of a breakthrough, since I've come to dread the weekly Tempo run. It's like I can't get it right, and each session ends with a) disappointment, b) frustration, and c) a dip in confidence. Three things I most definitely do not like. So I set my sights on fixing this situation, and hit a home run last night.

Mixed sports metaphors aside. My first "fix" was to try to run this run on the deathmill. I figured part of the problem was that I spent a lot of time on the road focusing on running an even pace, which is really hard to do. It was causing me a lot of anxiety to constantly check Garmin (pbtn). However, this completely failed. I feel like the treadmill and my nervous system don't get along. Being forced into an unnatural, unchanging pace makes me want to commit unthinkable acts of defenestration on the 'mill.

But back to the home run. As with many great ideas, it was borne out of the need for efficiency. I need more miles this week + I always feel like I can't warm up enough for the tempo run =10-mile hilly loop and put the "tempo" in from miles 5-9.

Voila! Success!

Here's the stats:

10:28
9:37
9:50
9:55
8:19 Do a little dance
8:20 Make a little love
8:23 Get down tonight.
8:20 Get down tonight..
10:15
10:18

I felt so good! No matter that I couldn't get disco songs out of my head. No matter that mile 5 started on a downhill and ended on a huge climb. 8:19 says Garmin (pbtn).

No matter that my heart rate hits 400 when Cujo dog-thing comes dashing out of the bushes at me. (Bad Cujo! Go back home!) I ran completely by feel, and my splits were exactly on. 8:20 says Garmin (pbtn).


I was like a robot I was so locked on pace. A robot enjoying the drifts of snow while enduring the sweet pain of the dull ache as legs work hard. A robot who can't believe there's a Golden Retriever on this street who apparently wants to eat me. OMG. I am totally going to have to lie and say the Cujo dog-thing bit me, not this adorable Golden Retriever. People are so going to think I started it. Golden's don't bite! What is wrong with you, dog?!?!? It's like I was blogging about it as it was happening.

To cap off a perfect night, I watched 4 straight hours of Olympic bliss, and was totally uplifted by Lindsey Vonn and Shaun White.

I feel like I can do anything. Bring it, Mr. Winter.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Fun With Dick & Alberto/ Jane

The weather is wreaking havok on my mileage, my son hasn't been to school since last week, it's tax season, and I have the curse of procrastination. I am waaay too stressed.

Which is why everything boiled over last night, and I found myself on the computer with Leopold looking at adorable LOLCATS and trying to find new ways to infuriate Nitmos with Dick Beardsley's seemingly endless list of talents.

Beardsley is so talented, we had to go back in time for this one:


video


As you can imagine, we had a really good laugh at this! It helped so much just to lighten things up a bit.

Now, it's a new day, and I have a new, cheerful outlook. I am relaxed and optimistic. Computer just crashed? Noooo problem. Tempo Run in 25 degrees? Can't wait! See? It's freaky!. Just watch this video over and over and over...and over again. You, too, can discover that the more you laugh the more you relax, and the more you relax, the easier it is to work through challenges and stress.

Have a great day, all.

And don't forget to watch you some Olympics tonight!

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Progression Run Progress

I am feeling happy and inspired today after completing my 16 mile Progression Run. I felt good from the start. Not fast, but strong. This run was so much better than the first Progression Run I did back on January 10 (5 weeks ago) it's not even funny!

For the first attempt, I averaged 10:30 pace for the first 12 miles, then I ran:
9:50
9:30
9:15
8:35

Most importantly, I remembered being sincerely discouraged with how hard the run felt.

In contrast, today, I ran the first 12 miles at 9:56 average pace, and then ran the last 5 miles much faster... I was locked onto MP for the last 3 miles, and I felt totally within myself. Here's today's splits:

1. 10:14
2. 09:41
3. 09:36
4. 10:31 hill
5. 10:13
6. 09:32
7. 10:02
8. 09:44
9. 10:28
10. 8:37 downhill
11. 10:33
12. 09:18 Start Progression
13. 08:56
14. 08:46 MP
15. 08:48 MP
16. 08:48 MP...easy!

So, it seems the Brad Hudson method may be working it's magic after all. The workouts are getting faster, and the pace for the running in between key workouts is also getting faster. Gee, by the time April 25 rolls around, my base pace might just be my Marathon Pace. How awesome is that?

Happy Valentine's Day, all.

I will leave you with this inspirational quote:

Promise yourself to be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind. Look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true. Think only of the best, work only for the best, and expect the best. Forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future. Give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others. Live in the faith that the whole world is on your side so long as you are true to the best that is in you! ~ Christian D. Larson

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Avoiding The Treadmill & Curing Small Rodents

Blizzard-like conditions here yesterday dictated I run by the numbers:

Degrees: 25
Feels like: 10
Winds: 60 mph
Shirts: 2
Jackets: 2
Sock pairs: 2
Glove pairs: 2
Treadmills: 0
Still froze my ass off.

I expect today to be even worse as I have a Tempo run planned. I like to run these type of workouts at Carrier Park, which sits right next to the French Broad River. Most of the year, this is an ideal run spot, and I'm surprised it's not jammed packed with more runners. Especially barefoot runners. The path around the main park measures just over a mile and it's relatively flat. Bark covered trail gives way to bike path, and connectors to other adjacent parks. Great for recovery runs, and tempo work. Also, it's about the only flat ground in Asheville.

However, you run at your own risk: snow, ice, flooding. They have it all. You can literally star in your own private disaster movie. Minus Dennis Quaid.

Anyway. Moving right along on to the "small rodents' part of my post...(There's just no easy segueway to this, is there?)

We have the sweetest little guinea pig. Just look at her. Awwwww... Well, a few days ago she suddenly stopped using her back legs, and began pulling herself around using her front legs. Then they stopped working, too. It is so sad.

I finally consulted Google and found a site that described the exact phenomenon that had happened to our little guinea pig.

"There is a kind of paralysis that can occur in guinea pigs which is a great puzzle and no one has ever been able to give me the answer to the question why. It happens very quickly, over night as a rule. You will wake up to find the animal down at the back, pulling itself along by it's front legs. In all other respects it is alert, lively and as keen to get stuck into it's breakfast as ever."

This is it! This is what happened. She still seems happy and healthy, she just can't use her legs.

The article goes on to say:

"The cure, and it invariably works, for the over night paralysis are heavy doses of calcium, in the shape of Osteocare. Usually within twenty four to forty eight hours of beginning this treatment the animal begins to recover mobility."

So, we're giving her calcium, and she appears to be in the midst of a full recovery. ...

And that's the story of how I came to be able to cure guinea pig paralysis.


The End.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

What's In Your Wallet?

At most, I run with my car key (which I double tie to my shoe), Garmin (pbtn), and (occasionally) my iPod Shuffle. Add jacket, hat, and gloves in cold weather, and that's about it. I never carry water, even on long runs (I'll do a water and food drop for long, long runs).

I can think of a few things I should probably consider adding to this: Road ID, perhaps. Sunscreen. Gummy Bears. A cape. Yes, I said a cape. Some consider the cape an unneccesary accessory. Road essential gear, I say!
Me, circa 1974


In other acccessory-related news...Last night I thought it would be fun to compare Leopold's wallet to my husband's. Conclusion:


So, Inquiring Minds want to know: What items do you take with you when you head out the door for a run? And why? And what does that say about you?

[ORN: Obligatory Running Note] 4 miles of running drills at UNCA Track yesterday morning. Additional 4 mile run last night. It's been 4 weeks since I've incorporated running drills into my program. This session was the first time I actually enjoyed them. I'm not sure what changed, but it's about time! Also, it might be my imagination, but I believe all the stretching and MR I've been doing on my hip flexors and external rotators is finally paying off. The flexibility improvement is obvious, but my stride has felt more powerful and I've noticed I'm running more with my butt- how weird does that sound? There's no other way to say it, though. Butt muscles are definitely more engaged. Niiice:)

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Boston Bound? This Is A Must-Read

Over the weekend I re-read Duel in the Sun: Alberto Salazar, Dick Beardsley, and America's Greatest Marathon. The author (John Brant) tells both of their stories so well and you just feel as if you are in the middle of things.

Great great read and you fly through it pretty quickly.

The backdrop to the book is the 1982 Boston Marathon, where an insanely competitive Alberto Salazar and an insanely tough Dick Beardsley ran side by side all the way from Hopkinton, doing everything they could to break each other, neither giving an inch.

Reading the story of the race is like watching the movie Apollo 13, you know how everything turns out, but you are on the edge of your seat, waitng to see who wins. Brant does a good job presenting what was going on in the underdog Beardsley's head during the race, but doesn't provide much from Alberto. I don't know if that was intentional or not, but it leaves you rooting for the underdog.

The basis for the rest of the book is that the 1982 Boston Marathon was the last really great running performance for each of the athletes. Salazar lost his performance level through the effects of overtraining and depression (it's actually more complicated than that, but the book does a pretty good job of fully explaining it). Beardsley was taken down by achilles surgery, a freak farming accident, and finally an addiction to prescription pain killers.

The book spends much of the time examining the troubles each runner experienced following that legendary race. I find it interesting that Salazar's journey afterward genuinely changed him, whereas the troubles that befell Beardsley only brought him back to his true self. It's a great commentary on the eternal question: Can people really change?

Neither Beardsley nor Salazar chose their personal burdens, but each approached life as a marathon, and both have overcome adversity and are now cruising comfortably down the stretch.

Two inspiring tales, well told.



Boston Marathon 1982: Dick Beardsley and Alberto Salazar race neck and neck to the finish

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Runamuck Post

All evidence to the contrary, I usually have a topic in mind for a post. However, my head is filled with many thoughts today, all of which are competing for the top honor of blog post. None are worthy of the honor in and of themselves, so for the sake of stopping the chaos of my mind, todays post will be a proverbial purge of topics,ideas, and photos. I feel better already!

Snow Pictures!

I live on a golf course, but I don't play golf, and hardly ever run on it because it is one hilly mofo. I occasionally do strides on the driving range, but for the most part these well-groomed hills are ignored. I'm going to have to re-think this approach after the fun time I had with my son last week. The snow presented a perfect opportunity to romp and play and dabble in the occult, while still getting in some semblance of a run.



Look, mom, I can draw in the snow!



Two days later the Pentagram was still visible from the road.
Thank god he didn't write his name, too.




The thing with snow covered hills is that with all that whiteness, you lose your depth perception. So we'd find ourselves running full speed ahead one moment, and face planted the next. This is a good look for me. Don'tcha think? Skelator meets Jaws.

Boys On The Run - Back In Business February 18

This will be our 4th season on Boys On The Run at Weaverville Elementary School. I always look forward to the 1st week because we hold a T-Shirt design contest. The winning design is turned into our Season T-Shirt. We get them in time for our race, and even though we don't have a shirt for many weeks, the boys like that they get a custom shirt. Something to flaunt in the face of their arch-nemesis- Girls On The Run!

Here are some pics from Season's past...










Self-Talk

I have a key workout planned for later today (3 x 1.5 mile @ Tempo pace, with steady 1/2 mile recovery in between). Not as hard as mixed intervals, but I still psyche myself up for it (can you even believe I would say, "Psyche myself up"? Now that I think about it, it sounds kinda dirty).

Anyways, I find certain phrases, or mantras if you will, helpful in completing harder workouts. My newest one is taken straight from the movie, "Whip It". I love the roller derby coach! He fires up the team, then says, "Go get ya some." I find that so inspiring. It's like, go get ya some...glory, or (insert inspirational adjective here).

I'm gonna take it for a test drive today and see how it works. 2 mile warm up, then... I'm gonna go get me some.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

I Can See Clearly Now That I'm Awake, Alert & Fully Alive

It's a good thing I don't read children's books aloud for a living. With all the stress I'm under lately, I'm apt to Snap! Crackle! and Pop!

Lately, even running isn't cutting through the grind of daily life. (And I tallied over 200 miles in January, so that's saying something).

Yesterday, I found myself standing in front of the microwave, holding the milk that is clearly meant for the fridge. I searched frantically for car keys that I swore I just tucked into my purse 2 minutes before. Later, I felt far more angry than I should have about "Amelia" being a total suckfest of a movie. (Zombieland- now, that's a good movie!)


More troubling than all that, however, are the stretches of hours when I find myself on autopilot, going from work to workout to dinner. Not quite tuning into conversations. My body is present and accounted for, but the feeling, thinking, observing parts of myself are vaguely someplace else (Zombieland, perhaps?)

So I, for one, was not a bit surprised to come across a "new" study suggesting that our moods can in fact change the way in which we view the world.

From The Journal of Neuroscience , a study conducted by The University of Toronto provides the first direct evidence that our mood literally changes the way our visual system filters our perceptual experience suggesting that seeing the world through rose-colored glasses is more biological reality than metaphor.

“Good and bad moods literally change the way our visual cortex operates and how we see,” says Adam Anderson, a U of T professor of psychology.

“Specifically our study shows that when in a positive mood, our visual cortex takes in more information, while negative moods result in tunnel vision.”


The antidote, so say psychologists, is mindfulness, a concept with roots both in Buddhism and the "be here now" days of the '60s. Mindfulness means paying attention to what's happening right now without brooding over the past, fretting about the future, or making judgments about how you'd prefer the moment to unfold. When you're mindful, you're awake, alert, fully alive.

This capacity to live in the moment, experts are discovering, delivers an astounding array of benefits. The mindful among us enjoy lower levels of stress, more harmonious relationships, better overall health, less fatigue, and higher self-esteem. Their moods are more stable. They're just plain happier.

The takeaway:

-It's the way you see things that matters.
-Shakespeare said 'nothing is good or bad, only thinking makes it so'. Too true.
-Change the way you look at things and the things you look at will change.

Monday, February 1, 2010

What The Folk!

Bad days. Everyone has them. The days when the Fates seem intent on testing your resolve to Job-like levels.

Friday was one of those days.

I don't know about you, but when I'm in a really crappy mood, everything around me goes to crap as well. I make sure of it. "Especially machines", I think, as the copier jams. For the second time.

If the poor contraptions somehow manage to withstand being inundated with my bad mojo, I just make them the fall guy anyways: "Hey, Tammy, our scanner is crap! I keep scanning this document and it's not showing up in my email." (Then of course, I fail to tell Tammy that my e-mail viewing window was set to "2 weeks ago").

Friday continued to progress in this fashion, with me spewing evil mojo, and the universe responding in kind. Work overflowed, time constraints tightened, the whole lot of it bottlenecking to the point of implosion. I found myself answering an e-mail while reviewing a contract while talking to my husband on he phone. He says, "We need to switch cars for tonight. Maybe you could meet me around 5:00. Or just come home. What time are you leaving?". What??

I realize I do not know what he's saying. Literally. I'm vaguely aware of an invention called words, and that in his invention, people use something that allows them to communicate, and these somethings are called "words".Yet I don't actually know which words he is using, or in what particular order he is speaking them. Apparently, I had reached the point where my brain had stopped processing.

I eventually made it home.

"If I don't go for a run, it will be very bad", I say grumpily as I sit on the stairs lacing up my shoes. My husband is in the midst of his very own stress fest, worrying about the weather's impact on his event. I hear Charlie Brown's teacher's voice: "Wah wah wah wah wah. Wah wah". I respond, "Yeah, and monkeys could fly out of my butt, but that's probably not gonna happen".

Stress is a funny thing. A huge mountain of it can be disipated with something as small as an off-hand comment that strikes a funny bone. Everything changes.

Leopold and I look at each other, both thinking the same thing: Leave those poor sick moneys alone!

Think About It. Think, Think About It

Children on the streets using guns and knives
Taking drugs and each other’s lives
Killing each other using knives and forks
And calling each other names like dork

There’s people on the street getting diseases from monkeys
Yeah that’s what I said, their getting diseases from monkeys
Whys this happening, please, whose been touching these monkeys
Leave these poor sick monkeys alone
There sick, they’ve got problems enough as it is

A man is lying on the street, some punk has chopped off his head
And I’m the only one who stops to see if he’s dead, aaoohhh
Turns out he’s dead

That’s why I’m singing, Aaaaoooh what is wrong with the world today?
What’s wrong with the world today, *mumbles* never said nothings wrong with it
Uooo, what is wrong with the world today?
Think about it, think about it, think, think about it

Good cops get framed and put into a can
And all the money that we’re making is going to the maaan

What man, whose the man, when’s a man a man, why’s it so hard to be a man
Am I a man? Yes, technically, yes…

Oohh, come on, sont zootka they’re turning kids into slaves
They’re turning kids into slaves just to make cheaper sneakers
But what’s the real cost, ‘cause the sneakers don’t seem that much cheaper
Why are we still paying so much for sneakers when you got little kid slaves making them
What are your overheads?

Well, at the end of your life, you are lucky if you die
Sometimes I wonder why I would even try
Why try
I saw a man lying on the street half dead
He had knives and forks sticking out of his leg
He said, Ahh ahh ahh ahhhhhhhhwww
Can somebody get the knife and fork out of my leg, please
Ooh, could somebody please remove these cutleries from my knees
Yeah yeeeahhh
This is where we break it down
This is where we break it down
We’ll break it down
What are they doing, their breaking it down
What do they do, and now their keeping it funky
Just having a funky jam and then we’re going to drop the beat
And then we’ll bring it back *wails* Up
Wah wah wah waaah!

*Both go to town with the wailing*

Then we’ll take it low
Fading out, fading out
We’re talking about the issues, but we’re keeping it funky
We’re fading out, we’re just fading out
Why they getting quiet, they’re just fading out
*monkey noises*
Stop touching that monkey

This is why we love Bret and Jemaine. Also, just look at them. They are so cute.